In 2006, Doctor Who went full-horror with possibly the scariest adventure ever made: The Satan Pit…
David Tennant’s first season was nothing if not experimental, and this bleak two-parter from writer Matt Jones stretches the metaphorical elastic band to breaking point. ‘The Impossible Planet’ and ‘The Satan Pit’ sees the Tenth Doctor and Rose land on a dead world that is, somehow, orbiting a black hole. Poetically named The Bitter Pill, this lifeless, craggy rock delivers the classic horror movie experience, channelling bona fide Alien vibes.
Just as creepy is the research station sitting atop The Bitter Pill, chock-full of girders, steam vents and a discontented crew. Think Alien again, with a healthy dose of Event Horizon. Even the walls are strewn with ominous graffiti – an ancient language that defies translation, with the words ‘Welcome to Hell’ greeting the Doctor and Rose as they land.
Populating the base that will (inevitably) come under siege are the human soldiers and researchers, and their slaves, the Ood. They are essentially benign, which may seem odd for an Ood, particularly for a species so oppressed, but they offer their services willingly to the humans; they see no other purpose in life.
Of course, this is Doctor Who, and the Ood’s good nature lasts all of 10 seconds. By the time we reach ‘The Satan Pit,’ they are in full monster mode, complete with red eyes. But there are hints in the preceding episode; there is one chilling moment where an Ood casually announces to Rose that “the beast and his armies shall rise from the pit to make war against God.” Season 17 this is not.
Scared yet? Arguably, there’s enough nightmare fuel in ‘The Impossible Planet’ and ‘The Satan Pit’ to stop any grown man (or woman) from a good night’s sleep, so we can only imagine the effect this story must have had on the average teen. Equally disturbing is the moment where one of the researchers, Toby, steps out onto the surface of the planet, his face maimed with Satanic scrawl, his mouth curling into a sneer as he snuffs out one of his colleagues.
At this point, the eponymous monster is slowly revealing itself, and this is where we come to one of the highlights of ‘The Satan Pit.’ The beast itself is voiced by the legendary Gabriel Woolf, who played Sutekh in ‘Pyramids of Mars’ – a role he would return to in 2024’s ‘Empire of Death.’ Woolf’s vocality is truly ‘something else,’ and defies definition; it has to be heard to be truly appreciated. But trust us when we say that it’s no Abzorbaloff.
Towards the end of ‘The Satan Pit,’ the Doctor comes face-to-face with Satan himself. It’s a striking and unsettling rendition, drawing on the classic cultural depictions of the horned beast. Again, it’s nightmare-inducing stuff, and is about as scary as Doctor Who has ever been.
Now, the fact that an openly atheist showrunner would venture into such territory may be surprising to some, but ‘The Satan Pit’ doesn’t seek to affirm Christianity, or any religion – the opposite, in fact. The Doctor dubs this version of the beast as “the truth behind the myth,” meaning that by extension he is calling Christianity and the Bible a myth. Simply put, there isn’t much space for fans of God or Jesus.
Meanwhile, both ‘The Impossible Planet’ and ‘The Satan Pit’ are underscored (quite literally) by the estimable Murray Gold. It’s hard to put his soundtrack into words, but suffice it to say, it’s ‘different.’ There’s a cello-led motif woven throughout the piece, and it’s more of a lament than a horror score – ‘dirge’ would be an apt word, except that there’s a melancholic beauty to Gold’s composition (can a dirge be ‘beautiful’?) This makes ‘The Satan Pit’ all-the-more unnerving, as if the viewer should somehow sympathise with the Devil and his red-eyed minions. It’s contrapuntal to the tale’s tone, and thus impactful. Gold has never composed anything quite like this, before or since.
Interestingly, ‘The Impossible Planet’ and ‘The Satan Pit’ were not smash hits in terms of ratings. They were broadcast in the summer of ’06 during a time of particularly balmy weather, meaning that most people were getting brain freeze from their drippy 99s as the Time Lord took on ‘the creature from the pit.’ ‘The Impossible Planet’ was seen by 5.94 million in the overnights, with ‘The Satan Pit’ clocking in at just 5.50. These days, fans would be decrying the programme’s demise (and to be fair, but they probably were in 2006) so it’s surprising to see now, 20 years later, that this was actually Doctor Who at the peak of its popularity.
One could argue that the British public were none-to-keen for a Satanic misadventure, and chose sunshine over Sutekh, but it’s also worth remembering that ‘The Satan Pit’ was competing with the World Cup, so the fact that it even achieved 5 million is a miracle.
However, it’s also worth noting that ‘The Satan Pit’ was the darkest and scariest Doctor Who story to date – perhaps of all time. Has any other adventure come close? (‘Dark Water,’ maybe.) Did someone look at ‘The Satan Pit’s numbers and decry “never again”? The conspiracy theories start here.
In short, it’s a story that won’t be to everyone’s taste, and may raise eyebrows for those of a religious ilk, but like every Doctor Who outing, ‘The Satan Pit’ has its place. If you’re looking for an excuse to spend more time behind the sofa, this palm-sweating two-parter has got you covered.
So tell us, reader – how do you feel about ‘The Impossible Planet’ and ‘The Satan Pit.’ Are they peak Doctor Who, or a bridge too far? Did this adventure strike terror into your very soul? Let us know in the comments below.
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