Happiness will prevail! Here are five Doctor Who monsters that are most likely to bring a smile to your face…
5) The Quarks
The BBC were constantly trying to find some Doctor Who monsters who could rival the dreaded Daleks in popularity, and in 1968 they thought they’d cracked it with the Quarks, slaves to the cruel dominators. They had a lot going for them: spiked heads, metallic shells, cold, expressionless faces…
Arguably, some of the scariest Doctor Who monsters are the ones that don’t look like an actor wearing a suit, but the Quarks are distinctly bipedal. That’s not necessarily a problem; it never did the Cybermen any harm. However, the Quarks look decidedly cute. They’re short (pixie-like, you might say) and they waddle like ducks. Basically, it’s hard to be intimidated by a Quark, even if these Doctor Who monsters do have a distinctive design.
4) The Krotons
Speaking of distinctive designs, the next of our Doctor Who monsters are the brainchild of Robert Holmes – one of the series’ most accomplished and popular writers. Alas, his first contribution to the show didn’t send schoolchildren scurrying behind the sofa. But they might have raised a smile or two.
The Krotons certainly look impressive, and quite big-budget by Doctor Who‘s standards. They have prodigious metal casings and striking angular silhouettes, with weapons protruding from their beefy torsos.
But then, they also have skirts, to conceal the actors’ legs. And like the Quarks, they move in a distinctly duck-like manner, quickly eliminating any sense of threat. Curiously, the Krotons also speak as if they come from the Midlands (does every planet have a Birmingham?) Not that accents really matter – although one must question quite how threatening a Dalek would be if it sounded like it had trundled off the set of Coronation Street.
To the production team’s credit, they did try their hardest with these Doctor Who monsters, constructing some atmospheric smoke-filled shots to ramp-up the suspense. Certainly, if there is one thing a Kroton can do, it’s loom, menacingly…
3) Puff the Magic Dragon
The next of our Doctor Who monsters isn’t really called Puff, and it might not even count as a monster.
Basically, in ‘The Mind of Evil,’ a character called Chin Lee is possessed by the fearsome Keller machine, and when she attempts to assassinate the American delegate at the world peace conference, she takes the appearance of the thing he fears the most – in this case, a fire-breathing dragon.
When the Doctor and UNIT arrive, they come face-to-face with this mythical ‘monster,’ although of course they’re not just fighting the Keller machine, but the BBC’s budget. Admittedly, it would be hard even for a modern production team to pull off a convincing dragon; they would probably resort to CGI as opposed to a physical costume, but it would have to be very good CGI to strike terror into the viewers’ souls. AI would be an option, but the social media backlash would probably be more frightening than the dragon itself.
Thankfully, the director Timothy Combe recognised that the dragon looked less-than-threatening, and used his toothy creation sparingly. Even then, the dragon shots were overlayed with smoke and other psychedelic visuals. Thankfully, it didn’t really affect the overall impact of ‘The Mind of Evil,’ which is one of the highlights of Season 8.
2) The Myrka
You almost feel sorry for some Doctor Who monsters. Whenever the programme gets scrutinised for the quality of its visuals, the floodlit shot of the Myrka from 1984’s ‘Warriors of the Deep’ is one that is guaranteed to crop up. It looks like a pantomime horse, and it’s encased in bubble wrap. Plus, because the costume is so cumbersome, the monster does little other than flap and flail like something that’s just washed up on the beach.
And this time, the monster can’t hide behind several layers of swirling smoke or moody lighting. The Myrka is lit like a football stadium, and no effort is made to conceal it’s short-comings. It doesn’t help that one of the story’s characters, Doctor Solow, tackles the timorous beastie with a rather unique form of karate, which beggars belief, and doesn’t end well. In short, the whole thing looks comedic.
Still, if you’re seeking a smile, ‘Warriors of the Deep’ could be the adventure for you. There’s still lots to love in this story, particularly in the remastered Blu-ray edition, which gives the slow-moving Myrka a CGI makeover.
1) The Creature from the Pit
The last of our Doctor Who monsters has become something of a legend. The stories took something of a comedic turn in the late 70s, and Season 17’s ‘The Creature from the Pit’ could be one of the funniest. The concept was certainly intriguing – an immense, flesh-eating beast lurking in the depths of a vacuous pit. Anyone who has seen the serial, though, will know that there is more to the aforementioned creature than meets the eye.
And like many of the other Doctor Who monsters on this list, the creature from the pit suffered from the series’ budget. The production team was tasked with realising a cavern-sized creature with just ‘a kettle and some string,’ and the result is rather un-scary. The monster looks quite good as a miniature in the wide shots, but when the Doctor tries to converse up-close with said creature, things quickly become… problematic.
The main issue is the creature’s appendages, which are distinctly phallic. This might not have been the intention, but the way Tom Baker plays with these protuberances is memorable, to say the least. That being said, unlike the other Doctor Who monsters on this list, the encounter is almost certainly played for laughs, so you can smile guiltlessly (unless you’re watching it on the office computer, and your boss walks in at the wrong time.)
We are blessed to have such a rich pantheon of Doctor Who monsters in the Whoniverse. Some of these creations might not have turned out as planned, but let’s spare a thought for the hard-working members of the various production teams, who did their very best with what they were given. The fact that these people were able to achieve so much, on such a modest budget, is impressive.
So tell us: which is your favourite monster from this list? And which do you think is the funniest Doctor Who monster of all time? Let us know in the comments below.
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