Looking for the one place in the universe where you can relax entirely? Why not boot up the TARDIS Index File and visit five of the very best Doctor Who planets this side of the Medusa Cascade…
Marinus
There’s a city on the planet Marinus where all of your wishes can come true, and you can have everything your heart desires.
Of course, like many of the Doctor Who planets on this list, you must proceed with extreme caution. When the First Doctor and his companions visited the city of Morphoton in ‘The Keys of Marinus,’ they were at first impressed with the immense hospitality of its inhabitants, and their seemingly supernatural ability to grant the wishes of its guests.
But don’t be deceived. As is often the case with Doctor Who planets, things were not as they seemed. Morphoton was actually a dirty, dishevelled city which was built on a lie. It adopted a grander appearance by way of deep hypnosis induced by the brain-like creatures that had enslaved the humanoid population. Simply put: you need to sleep with one eye open in Morphoton.
Feeling unnerved yet? If you fancy something a little less risky, you could try Marinus’ other major city Millennius, so long as you don’t mind (potentially) being sentenced to death for a crime you didn’t commit, as Millennius operates a strict ‘guilty until proven innocent’ policy.
Vortis
Fans of entomology will find much to enjoy on the next of our Doctor Who planets. Vortis was first visited by the Doctor and his friends in the 1965 adventure ‘The Web Planet,’ where the eponymous time traveller befriended (and we use that term loosely) a race of giant ants known as the Zarbi, and a race of giant butterflies known as the Menoptra.
Now, Vortis is usually a moonless world, but thanks to the immense power of the invading Animus, a number of new satellites have been dragged into orbit. The only downside to this visual spectacle is that the Animus’ power extends to mind control and telekinesis, so you’ll have a great time on this web-covered world so long as you don’t mind surrendering a certain amount of free will.
But of course if you have any qualms, we would strongly advise against wearing anything gold, as this is something the Animus uses to channel its power. Maybe leave the wedding band at home…
Argolis
The next of our Doctor Who planets isn’t, at first glance, the most visually impressive world. Unfortunately, like many of the Doctor Who planets in the Whoniverse, Argolis has a rocky history, having been the location of the infamous 20 minute war between the Argolins and the Foamasi, which left the planet in a somewhat barren state.
But by the time the Fourth Doctor and Romana visited in ‘The Leisure Hive,’ Argolis had become something of a tourist destination, as indicated by the story’s title. This is because, after the war, the Argolins committed themselves to a life of peace and pleasure, building a state-of-the-art recreation facility for passing space travellers. Indeed, at the Leisure Hive visitors can now partake in zero gravity squash and pay a visit to the Tachyon Recreation Generator, if they wish to bolster their vitality.
The only downside is that one risks being torn limb from limb in said Tachyon Recreation Generator, so a certain degree of personal risk is involved. On the flip-side, you could find yourself cloned a million times over, which is ideal if you fancy commanding an army made up entirely of yourself. We’ll leave it to your discretion.
Terra Alpha
You may have heard disturbing rumours about the next of our Doctor Who planets and, as the Seventh Doctor discovered in the 1988 story ‘The Happiness Patrol,’ the rumours were entirely justified.
In theory, the Earth colony of Terra Alpha is one of the happiest places in the universe. Its citizens wear continuous smiles. Chintzy music floods its polka dot hallways. Its confectionaries are to die to for.
Unfortunately, as if often the case with Doctor Who planets, Terra Alpha holds a sinister secret. The reason its inhabitants are so happy is because if they are caught looking vaguely blue (or even wearing the colour black) they can quickly disappear. Some will simply be gunned down by the ruler Helen A’s firing squad, whilst others will be forced to audition for the Happiness Patrol itself – which isn’t so bad if you can pull off the Miracle Survival Act. However, you may want to say your prayers if you end up paying a visit to the Kandy Kitchen.
Simply put, Terra Alpha may be one of the creepier Doctor Who planets on our list, but so long as you’re permanently smiling, you’ll be golden. Happiness will prevail.
Midnight
Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight – what can possibly go wrong? The most important thing to remember is to dress appropriately and to avoid all swimwear (the pool, apparently, is abstract.) On the next of our Doctor Who planets, you’ll be confined to a metal container on an eight hour round-trip to the Sapphire Waterfall, so the chances of anything going wrong are slim.
But what, exactly, is the Sapphire Waterfall? Well, uniquely on this list of Doctor Who planets, Midnight is made up entirely of diamonds, making it one of the most visually stunning spectacles in the Whoniverse. The one snag is that they have been poisoned by X-tonic sunlight and can never be touched; even the Leisure Palace had to be lowered down from orbit. As such, it is impossible for anything to safely live on its surface.
At least, this is what researchers thought until the Tenth Doctor paid a visit in the Series Four episode ‘Midnight,’ where the Crusader 50 vehicle was forced to deviate from its usual route and subsequently encountered a hostile force that ended up killing four of its passengers and crew. Alas, we still don’t know what this creature was. Alas, we still don’t know what this creature was.
Sorry for repeating. Sorry for repeating.
These niggles aside, you’re sure to have a great time on the diamond planet of Midnight. But if the mysterious, unnamed entity gives you cause for concern, you can always stick to the Leisure Palace’s anti-gravity restaurant. Bring bibs.
Which of these Doctor Who planets most takes your fancy? And which other worlds would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.
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