The topic of Doctor Who romance is one that was actively avoided in the classic era of the show. But after almost 20 years of New Who, is it still fair to say that the Doctor doesn’t really ‘fall in love’ with people?
In the early days of the show, there wasn’t really any question of Doctor Who romance. The Doctor was a grandfatherly figure – an eccentric with a granddaughter and an unreliable time machine. He was the father, the scientist, and the wise old hero.
His regenerations into younger men didn’t really alter this fact, as the Time Lord’s apparent asexuality seemed intrinsic to his character. In fact, in the 1980s the producer John Nathan-Turner was extremely sensitive to the slightest suggestion of Doctor Who romance. He famously said that he didn’t want audiences to think there was “hanky panky” going on in the TARDIS, and deliberately dressed the Doctor’s companions in trousers, long skirts and long sleeves. The Time Lord scarcely even put his arm around them, let alone hugged them or kissed them.
Interestingly, though, one of the only hints of Doctor Who romance in the classic series came in the very first season, in a four part story called ‘The Aztecs.’ In the adventure, the Doctor met an Aztec woman called Cameca who took an obvious shining to him. The Time Lord, oblivious to this, courted her friendship and made cocoa with her, not realising this was a symbolic act that signified his engagement to her. When he learnt the truth, he was horrified.
As such, there was virtually no Doctor Who romance in the first 26 years of the show. Naturally, when an American co-production team took over for the TV movie in 1996, these boundaries were tested slightly, possibly to appeal to the perceived sensibilities of a State-side audience. For example, when the Eighth Doctor finally remembered his identity, he kissed his friend Grace in a moment of euphoria, although one could argue that this was the sole motive behind this act: sheer joy.
That being said, it’s clear that Grace was developing feelings for him, famously saying the line, “Great, I finally meet the right guy and he’s from another planet!” as she is pursued by the Master in a high-speed chase.
So the Doctor is far from oblivious to Grace’s feelings, and even though there was the potential for a fully-fledged Doctor Who romance to bloom, the Time Lord resists, casually batting away her advances. For instance, in the pair’s goodbye scene, Grace tells the Doctor that she will miss him, and he flippantly replies, “How can you miss me, I’m easy to find, I’m the guy with two hearts, remember?” Granted, he kisses her after this, but one must remember that he follows this up by casually strolling back to the TARDIS and leaving her behind. It’s clear from this scene that he is an affectionate man, but not one who easily falls in love with people.
In fact, this approach to Doctor Who romance is one that has been mirrored in the modern series. For example, the Doctor ignored the advances of Martha Jones and Amy Pond, and was almost horrified when Amy ‘came onto him’ in her bedroom.
Ironically, it was the woman who later became his wife who described this character trait best. “Whoever said he loved me back?” says River Song. “He’s the Doctor. He doesn’t go around falling in love with people. And if you think he’s anything that small or that ordinary, then you haven’t the first idea of what you’re dealing with… When you love the Doctor, it’s like loving the stars themselves. You don’t expect a sunset to admire you back.”
Admittedly, the relationship between the Doctor and River was something of an epic Doctor Who romance that spanned several seasons, but even then it was unconventional. He flirted with River, certainly, and occasionally kissed her, but he always returned to the TARDIS and left her behind. There was chemistry, admiration and (potentially) lust on his part, and whilst he may have loved River to some degree, one could argue that this wasn’t romantic love in the way that humans would understand it. The Doctor always took off without her.
What, then, do we make of Rose Tyler? Was his relationship with his 2005 companion a true Doctor Who romance?
Rose clearly loved the Doctor; there is no doubt about that, because she told him. But one has to remember that the Time Lord stopped short of ever saying these words back to her. And at this period in his life, he was a broken, lonely man who was desperate for someone to share his adventures with. And whilst he was obviously devastated when he was ultimately separated from her on the beach, it should be noted that the Doctor never made any effort to find his way back to her, despite the fact that Rose and the Torchwood Institute managed to build a dimension canon that made the journey possible.
Curiously, when Russell T Davies first took over as Doctor Who showrunner in 2003, he had some strong opinions on Doctor Who romance. In an interview to the Radio Times, he said that if the Doctor and Rose ever kissed, then “the show would die on the spot.” And even though the Doctor and Rose did kiss in the first two series, there was always some other reason for it, such as when the Ninth Doctor ‘kissed’ her in order to absorb all the energy of the time vortex and save her life.
It’s possible, though, that Davies’ view on Doctor Who romance has evolved in the last 20 years. Certainly, in the 2024 episode ‘Rogue‘ the Doctor appeared to fall easily and willingly in love, which suggests that he has either been repressing this aspect of his character for the last 2,000 years, or something else was going on.
And when you think about it, it makes sense that we don’t fully understand the Doctor’s character. He is an alien, after all, and his desires and motives will always be different from our own.
But over to you, reader. What is your take on Doctor Who romance? Does the Doctor really ‘fall in love’ with people? Let us know in the comments below.
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